The Tim Dax Interview

And now for something different.  Last month was this blog's 6th year anniversary.  Over the course of those years I have written about a number of different topics and, for reasons that should become clear as you read this post, I'd been trying to set up an interview with actor Tim Dax for quite a while.  Finally, on September 2nd, I was able to reach Tim at the Los Angeles home he shares with his fiancee Andrea Giacomi.  

It's a wide-ranging interview. I hope you enjoy it. As we begin, I've already introduced myself and given Tim a run-down of the questions I'd like to ask. And then it's on... 

Blabbeando: I know a few things about your work but my readers don’t. You are living in Los Angeles and involved in a few current projects. What are they.

Tim Dax: Well, I’m Tim Dax and thank you Andrés for reaching out. So, yeah, Tim Dax, Los Angeles, my one-year anniversary coming up pretty soon after living in New York City for fifteen years. I’m pursuing my acting career and I’m just beating the pavement, man, pounding the ground, doing what I gotta do out here to make it happen - and step by step things are happening. It’s all good.

What am I working on? I've been attending a few auditions, I’ve got a couple of movie scripts that are being written for me as the lead, I completed my first feature in which I starred in called “Mr. Bricks”. It’s being released on Troma this fall. I’ve got my second feature with the same creators of “Mr. Bricks” called “Slaughter Daughter”. That’s in post-production now so that should be coming out. It’s rolling, man…

Blabbeando: And you are doing some video work as well, I believe you appeared - briefly - in Steven Tyler’s video for “Feels So Good” which debuted on American Idol this past season…

Tim Dax: Well, as an actor you have to take everything and at the very beginning it’s a lot of free work and you do anything and everything and I don’t believe in restricting myself so I take advantage of these opportunities when it comes to being an actor. That’s a music video, that’s theater, that’s acting in a haunted house if need be. Anything and everything to get to the bigger picture, the bigger goal, which is movie acting.  I see a very successful future as a movie actor and I can see eventually getting into creating, writing – I do a little bit of writing now – and directing film as well. I see a huge happy future in Hollywood. No Doubt.

Blabbeando: As you know, I've actually have written about you before and it just happens to be the most popular blog post I have ever written in the six years since I launched Blabbeando...

Tim Dax: Awesome!

Blabbeando: In that post I described how we met in June of 2005 and the particular commotion you caused on that day. It happened to be right in the middle of Manhattan's annual LGBT pride march...

Tim Dax: Yes! Gay pride, be pride, have pride, be proud!

Blabbeando: …and there you were as a straight guy and I don’t even know if you had ever marched in a pride parade before…

Tim Dax: I had not. It was my first…

Blabbeando: …and so what were your thoughts earlier that morning and did you actually plan what you were about to do?

Tim Dax: Well, first I want to address the issue of the word ‘straight’ or the word ‘gay’, those are labels and when anybody asks me if I’m gay: “Hell yeah, I’m gay. Fucking shit, man, life is good! I love being fucking gay. Shit! I’m queer. Look at me, man! I. Am. Queer. This is a real queer look on my face right now.”  So whatever. Gay, straight, whatever.

Blabbeando: And do you remember that morning?

Tim Dax: Yes! Yes I do! Gay pride 2005. I remember it was hot! It was hot and humid. I was sweating my ass off. That morning I didn’t know I was going to walk in a parade until the last minute. I had an idea that I would, I thought I might, and then the morning came and a friend called and they said they were meeting and I said: “OK, what the hell am I going to wear?" - I am an exhibitionist, to start, so it’s gotta be minimal - "OK, shorts? Aaaah, so expected, shorts, I don’t have any cool ones anyway. What else, what else, what else.” Well I got this hat – a stocking cap kinda thing – and I said “OK, I could put this on, and then I could keep it on with a cock-ring, and there you go! That’s my costume! OK, that’s it!’”

And I thought that up maybe an hour before I walked out the door. And I walked up to 52^nd Street and I already had the sock on and I was good to go! Just dropped my pants and…

Blabbeando: You were marching with a specific contingent or was that accidental…

Tim Dax: Well, I was hanging out with The Eagle truck because I have some friends of that persuasion [laughs] and they invited me to walk with the whole journey.

Blabbeando: So, yeah, for the rest of the day you marched down 5th Avenue totally nude except for a sock…

Tim Dax: Yeah! A hat which doubled as a sock that covered my cock [realizing what he just said rhymes, he chuckles].

Blabbeando: You also carried a leather flag in a particular place of your body. Whose idea was that?

Tim Dax: The flag? The flag started a few blocks down. I don’t remember exactly how it ended up there. I actually might have been the one who put it there. It probably was me. But what else do you do with a flag when you gotta march, like, two miles, dude? So I had to pose! I had to have my hands free! So what a better way to display it! It was up the crack of my ass!

Blabbeando: I think that's hen I first spotted you. You were walking down, taking your time and posing and people seemed shocked at first but then applauded. And then, right in front of St. Patrick’s Cathedral, there were all these fundamentalist religious folk bunched all up in a police pen. They held all these signs saying the usual, “God hates fags”, “Fags cause AIDS"...

Tim Dax: Insanity! Confused unhappy people.

Blabbeando: It was funny because it was just about everybody. The fundamentalist Muslims, the Christians, the Orthodox Jews…

Tim Dax: Yeah, there were a few different haters in there [laughs] but it’s all good. We just went there, we showed them that we have good times no matter what, haters. I mean, that was 2005, I mean 6 years ago? And my attitude probably would be a little bit different now. I might not have thrown them the finger. I might just actually have thrown them the peace sign. But I go with the flow and at the moment that’s what it said and I think I did it with a smile, so that balanced it out… and my ass! And my ass-cheeks. Blabbeando: I remember the disgust in their faces and you just standing there.  I have marched in many pride marches and that remains one of my favorite pride march memories.

Tim Dax: Dude, it was brilliant. That whole event for me was brilliant.  That was my first gay pride march. I had been to the parade in Washington a couple of times but never marched.  And it’s been my last, unfortunately, not to say that it will be my last. For sure, when the time is right, I want to be in New York City and certainly take part in it again on a grander scale. Because at that time maybe I’ll have a few movies out there and everybody’s gonna know Tim Dax so I’m gonna have a special Tim Dax float where everybody can come on and chill out and have a good time. Hell yeah!

Blabbeando: Now, I don’t know if at that time you were working on “Rough Gods” or if it came a little later…

Tim Dax: Later. I worked for thirteen years in the interior design industry in New York City and 2008 was about the time that “Rough Gods” came into my life and that was after I left that thirteen-year job to pursue an acting career. I had just finished my facial tattoo which had taken about two years. It had been done for a few months when I met Michael Alago. It was completely by chance and he asked if I wanted to be photographed. As an actor, you do anything and everything to get your face out so I said ‘Of course!’

Michael was one of the first photographers to take a picture of me after I left that serious job I had for so long and he was my influence and my inspiration to do a lot of things in those beginning stages of experiencing a new challenge of a career; trying to model and get acting gigs and all that stuff.

Blabbeando: Did you feel you were diving head first into a brand new life experience in terms of modeling and acting and all that stuff.

Tim Dax: Oh God, completely! Scary! When you leave a 9 to 5 after thirteen years that gave you a good salary and try to follow a dream? ‘HAHAHA!’ And to do what? You wanna be an actor looking like that? ‘HAHAHA!’ You’re gonna be a model? ‘HAHAHA! Nobody’s gonna ever hire you! You’ve painted yourself into a corner, man! HAHAHA!’

And then, of course, my heart tells me ‘No, they’re wrong, they’re wrong’ because what I’ve got is unique and when I show everybody how I use it they will see and it will become big and popular and in demand and I have a good message behind all so that will all be heard. So, yes, going back to it, [I was] scared shitless.

Blabbeando: So how much attention did it "Rough Gods" bring you? Did you experience…

Tim Dax: Tons! First of all, on a daily level, it’s funny because I have people from time to time who might say ‘Hey! Aren’t you one of those --- aren’t you a ‘Rough God’?” “Yes, yes!” Out of the blue, crazy. Everybody remembers.

On a deeper level, on a bigger level, all of my acting headshots, all my good ones are all Michael Alago, they are all “Rough Gods” and those are the only ones I use because Michael captures ‘a man’s man’ and he’s just got an eye for it and it’s brilliant and he does it unlike anyone else I’ve worked with. He’s got it like that.

Blabbeando: What about your tattoos? When I first saw you, you had a few. I think you had some facial work, not as much as you do today…

Tim Dax: I might have had my chin started at that time…

Blabbeando: Yeah. Have you relied on one specific tattoo artist for your tattoos all this time or have different people worked on them? And, at this point, are you done or are there plans for more tattoo work.

Tim Dax: As far as my tattoos, I’ve used about, maybe four people so far. Maybe five. But they are never by chance. Tattoos are a very spiritual thing if your heart is in the right place when you get them. And there are no chance meetings, for me, anyway, with that stuff. And each artist that has done work on me has done very unique and very special work and served a purpose for that period of time. I’ve had good relationships with all of them. 

One guy did my entire head. I would never start something with someone with the intentions to maybe not finishing with them. I follow through and I like relationships. I wish I could have had one tattoo artist for all of my body but for whatever reason each person is meant to be in our lives for a certain amount of time and sometimes we part ways but I like consistency and I am loyal so therefore I like having solid relationships that last forever. But this is reality and that’s not always possible.

I am finished for the moment but there are some plans for some snakes on my hands that’ll look WICKED. And then some snakes on my feet, which will look WICKED. And then from there I don’t know. They all come to me as visions and they stay with me and when the time is right I’ll find the right person and I’ll have the money to pay for it and everything will work out because that’s the way my life goes [laughs].

Blabbeando: And it has evolved into a sorta ‘Gladiator’ type of look. Was it intentional?

Tim Dax: It’s funny that I say that it wasn’t intentional, it just came out that way, and that’s kinda the truth. I didn’t start out to say “I want to be a WARRIOR” or “I wanna look like a GLADIATOR”, no.

I started with my forearms. That was supposed to be just like a two-inch band on my wrists and it turned into my full forearms. And then from there, I just started popping ideas, just coming to me. Visions of the other designs and they all just laid out, ordained organically, one after the other. And this is what they look like.

So it wasn’t preconceived, it just came out that way. My head even. My head started as a Mohawk, which I did not like the way it looked. So, what else do you do? I just kept making it bigger. For a year and a half, I just kept making it bigger and it slowly crept down my face one hour at a time.

Blabbeando: Because it does make you a striking figure. It also might pigeonhole you into a specific type of character-actor of or model. But from the stuff I’ve seen about you, I know you have a range. You are pretty goofy sometimes. You can do comedy, horror.

Tim Dax: hell yeah! You know what? It’ll be ‘quote-unquote’ pigeonholing at first.  All they see at first is a tattoo and they say “Oh, my God! What are you gonna do with it!” And then all of a sudden when they give themselves a minute to see what’s beyond the tattoo, what comes from the person who is wearing the tattoo, which is dramatic, which is intellectual, which is comedic at times, which is whatever it wants to be, there’ll be great value in that. 

And then thing will be made for a guy like me. Why can’t there be a sitcom where there’s now gay people, have a sitcom with a gay couple and the tattooed-head guy who is the neighbor, who is a gardener, I don’t know!

It’s possible! We have a black president right now. Hello! 20 years ago who was even thinking that was possible, huh? Anything is possible.  If he can be the president, then why can’t I be a leading man in Hollywood. Of course I can.

Blabbeando: Finally, any regrets leaving New York City? And what awaits you in the future.

Tim Dax: My future is home-base L.A. because I believe the rest of my future has to do with making movies, making entertainment, and it all starts in Hollywood. So here is home base. No regrets. I absolutely adore it here, love it here, this is where I’m meant to be right now. I own an apartment in New York City, down in Chelsea, so that’s gonna be the retreat back eventually so I can be ‘Bi’…’-coastal’.

Blabbeando: [Laughs] Alright, Tim, so thank you so much for the interview and good luck in Hollywood.

Tim Dax: Thank you so much, Andrés. God bless.

All things Tim Dax:

• Tim Dax website here
• Tim Dax on Twitter here
• Tim Dax on YouTube here
• Tim Dax on Facebook here

Related:

• Tim Dax: "There is no pinnacle, we keep rising up" (Couch Cutter, April 11, 2011)

The first and final gay pride march

Next year you'll probably find me marching at the Heritage of Pride march down 5th Avenue in Manhattan. Perhaps with the Queer New York Bloggers contingent. I keep getting invited and turning them down because I'm never around for pride weekend in New York. At least during the last couple of years.  Then again, I might have marched in my last gay pride march ever.

Truth be told, I've felt a bit prided out the last few years.  I see a rainbow flag and I cringe.  The thought of hours and hours of commercially sponsored floats carrying a seemingly inexhaustible number of go-go boys and drag queens dancing to the same Lady Gaga song doesn't seem as fresh to me as when go-go boys and drag queens were dancing to Madonna way back.  And watching some of the Latino groups spend all that money on the glorious feathered costumes and elaborate floats breaks my heart when I know how hard they work for the money, if only to blow it on a couple of hours in the sun.

Don't get me wrong! Some of my best friends are go-go boys and drag queens! They are also from Latin America! It's just that when the New York City Department of Health does a float promoting crystal-meth addiction awareness and sees the need to put 20 go-go boys dancing around the float to call attention to the message, well, there is something really wrong with the world.

In other words, I have turned into an old gay geezer.

So when I tell you that I marched at a gay pride march a week ago Sunday and that it was an incredibly moving experience don't just take it with a grain of salt. It was a revelation...



I mean, it wasn't just ANY gay pride. It was the 13th annual gay pride in the city where I was born: Medellín, Colombia... and the first time I ever participated in it.

I mean, this is the city I left in the late 1990's when I didn't think it was possible to live an openly gay life. It wasn't that there weren't any gay people in Medellín at the time. I remember summer romances with two Colombian soldiers, one of whom offered me one of his hollow-point rifle bullets as a keepsake when he found out I was leaving (I refused it, thinking it would explode halfway through the trip back to the United States).

I mean, I was 20 at the time.

I mean, that's Calle 13's "Fiesta de Locos" blasting out of the speakers ---- and every single person singing it!

I mean...



OMG! Never in a million years would I have expected all this 'Glee'ness to happen in Medellín. I was enthralled.

The march was actually one of two gay pride marches in the city that day. This particular one was pulled together by Edisón Arboleda of the LGBT-rights organization Corporación El Otro.  It got off to a slow start and it took ages to make our way downtown, amidst huge sudden downpours and a loss of marchers.

But, as marchers made it over the Colombia Street bridge and into the mostly empty industrial area of downtown Medellín, the march truly turned into one huge party.



I know it might seem like any pride march anywhere in the world to you  but it sent chills down my spine.  It still does as I watch these clips.

A few things I noticed: Only a couple of commercial floats, police turning away a number of drunk soccer hooligans shouting homophobic slurs as a few drag queens watched them being taken away, a march where participants and spectators were allowed free movement instead of penning people in as they do in New York, young queer folk everywhere, a cute photographer from El Tiempo and, yes, Lady Gaga.

I also took a few photos (and so did my brother).  And that was my gay pride this year. How was yours?

Related: 

• La Dany - The Movie
• Medellin gay pride parade (flickr)

Update: POC contingent to remain among first to line up at NYC Pride March

[Photo credit: Fading Ad Blog] An e-mail sent out earlier this month to past New York City Pride March participants indicated that organizers had decided to do away with specific "theme sections" and allow organizations to register for "first-come, first-serve" ordering.

This made me wonder if the announced changes would mean that the long-standing People of Color contingent, which has historically marched 2nd or 3rd in line, would be dissolved, in essence, and POC groups dispersed along the marching route ("NYC Pride March organizers do away with 'theme sections'", January 9, 2009).

In an open letter sent out on January 19th by Heritage of Pride, organizers of the march, they make clear that this will not be the case.

The agency says that "Groups who have traditionally marched as a unified front - such as the POC contingency - will still be able to do so with the full cooperation and support of HOP" and "The POC contingency and its placement at the front of The March is part of both the political significance and rich history of The March, and it has always been HOP’s intent to keep them in their rightful place."

Full text below -

To Whom It May Concern:

On behalf of Heritage of Pride (HOP), I would like to extend our sincerest apologies for any confusion or negativity that may have resulted from our recent email regarding the organization of this year’s march. The email, sent by the HOP March Committee, announced our decision to discontinue the ordering of The March by “themed sections” and allow for March placement to be determined on a first-come-first-serve basis. Regretfully, the email did not explain how the decision would affect contingents that wish to continue marching together, nor did it explain the reasoning behind the decision. As a result, the decision was misinterpreted and a significant portion of our community was left feeling offended and overlooked. This was certainly not our intention and we are deeply sorry for any miscommunication and the distress it may have caused.

In the past, groups registering to march were automatically assigned a category and required to march with their designated “section”. Under the policy, the formation of “sections” will be a “at will” and left to the discretion of each registering group. We wish to make it clear that the new policy does not prohibit individual groups from marching together as a “section”. Groups who have traditionally marched as a unified front (such as the POC contingency) will still be able to do so with the full cooperation and support of HOP.

The new policy does dictate that March order be determined on a first-come-first-serve basis, but contains a clause allowing HOP to make exceptions and assign placement in order to maintain the overall integrity of The March. HOP is firmly committed to preserving the core values of The March. The POC contingency and its placement at the front of The March is part of both the political significance and rich history of The March, and it has always been HOP’s intent to keep them in their rightful place.

Hop would like the POC community to know that we have always, and will always, support them in any way we can. We thank you for your understanding on this matter. If anyone has any questions or would like to be involved in the decision making process of NYC PRIDE, we welcome them attend one of our various planning sessions. Meeting dates and times can be found at nycpride.org.

Yours in Pride,

Todd Emmett
Managing Director
Heritage of Pride, Inc.

NYC Pride March organizers do away with 'theme sections'

[UPDATE: The POC contingent will remain and will still be lined-up up front. This post has been updated here]

ORIGINAL POST: From an e-mail being sent out by Heritage of Pride (HOP) to potential participants at the 2009 NYC Pride March which is scheduled for June 28, 2009:

Another change for the 2009 Pride March, will be the Order of the March. In the past, all March groups and participants where divided into theme sections (i.e. the Religious Section, the College Section, the Women's Section). This year Heritage of Pride has decided to do away ordering the March by theme sections, and allow for a first-come-first-serve ordering. - By this we mean, those who register sooner, will be given priority in the March line-up; however, HOP reserves the right to exercise discretion when placing one group next to another; in addition, floats will continue to be spread out throughout the entire March route, although priority in the lineup will be given to those who register sooner.

Most people won't notice or care about the change but as someone who has marched as part of the People of Color contingent for years I have mixed feelings.

On the one hand there is a reason as to why certain contingents or 'theme sections' have historically marched ahead of others mostly having to do with the recognition by march organizers that women's groups, for example, deserved more visibility.

This was certainly the case with the People of Color contingent which has historically been placed second or third in the marching order since the 1990's thanks to the advocacy of the work of The Lesbian and Gay People of Color Steering Committee which was then led by Lidell Jackson.

The Committee took it upon themselves to sustain a level of involvement and cohesiveness in the march from what is sometimes a disparate array of LGBT POC organizations, a task that was handed over to The Audre Lorde Project in 1999. The Committee is no longer active but, to date, ALP has continued to handle involvement of LGBT POC organizations at the Heritage of Pride March.

But it is also true that, as the march grew and commercial interests trumped some of the activist spirit of past marches, it has also became blander with floats by major companies looking exactly the same (signs lettered with glitter, a drag queen lip-syncing to the latest Madonna single and a bevvy of go go boys bouncing to the beat).

The effect at recent marches has been a rush of excitement during the first hour or two followed by tedium as the corporate floats go on and on and on. The disbandment of theme sections by Heritage of Pride seems to be an attempt to shake up things a bit and push for an even mix between commercial floats and community organizations throughout the length of the march but I wonder if in the end it will end up diluting the cohesiveness and visibility of a People of Color contingent that year after year has proven to be among the most vibrant and inventive in terms of costumes and presentation (see photo above of Venezuela Gays United performing before the judges' stand at the 2006 march).

But it is also true that some POC organizations such as Primer Movimiento Peruano have been moving away from the POC contingent in recent years as they partner with commercial venues to be able to afford marching with larger floats even if it means not being up front.

It's a tough decision. Pride events, particularly in the bigger cities, have come under increasing criticism that they are no longer relevant, that they are too commercialized, that they are boring, that they are a relic of the past. But they can truly be transformative events for younger generations who might not have seen so much gayness out on the street or for people who have just come out even later in life.

In New York City the reality is that Pride events have increasingly lost audiences and participants as of late. Last year Gay City News reported on the meager numbers of people attending the pre-march Rally. And a polemic piece in The New York Observer in 2007 argued that part of the reason that the march has been in decline has been that moneyed gays have drifted away - partly because of the increase in participation from people of color.

But the increased participation of mostly younger people of color is exactly why the march is so important to me. As the Observer article argues, older white gay men might have moved on to private parties and circuit events feeling that gay pride is a quaint idea that is no longer relevant in their lives. As an older Latino gay man who has done long time work in the gay community I get it. There comes a point where you cringe every time you see one more rainbow flag and hear one more drag queen singing "I Will Survive" on top of a float. But I was once entranced by all the pageantry in a way that helped me to come to terms with my sexuality enabling me to claim my identity and the fact that you might be over the whole deal does not mean that the march doesn't have value for others.

Perhaps it's true and we are observing an irreversible decline in these kind of demonstrations. The disbanding of 'theme sections' at the HOP march certainly seems like the end of an era and I am sad to see the potential disbandment of a People of Color contingent, if that is what the changes mean. I'll be interested in seeing how it's actually worked out and if it actually serves the purpose of jump-starting a more consistently entertaining march from start to finish come June which I assume is HOP's ultimate goal.

ACT UP gets horny for gay pride: Marchers needed!

The Press Release:

COME MARCH WITH ACT UP/NY FOR PRIDE 2008!
Sunday, June 29 - 11:30am
56th Street at 6th Avenue
917-653-7267 (cell)

This year we will be focusing on getting the word out about our exciting new harm reduction campaign that we are launching in print and on the web. Infection rates in NYC are up by 33% since 2001 among young gay and bisexual men under 30 years of age. Prevention efforts are hampered by years of abstinence only teaching, which has affected even AIDS organization's educational materials which often are timid. Our first effort will be published in this weeks Gay City News showing an inviting young man starting to dress himself by opening a condom, with the following text:

"Infection Rates are UP! The only thing you need to wear are condoms!"

The CDC's recently released statistics for 2005 show that, men who have sex with men accounted for 71% of all new HIV/AIDS diagnoses among men. This is another reason we need to mobilize attention to this issue. We need an edgy, gay-sex-positive, safe-sex promotional campaign in response to this alarming rise in new infections among
young gay and bisexual men under 30. That's why ACTUP/NY is creating this new campaign to promote effective safe sex messages targeting gay youth. Our contingent will be displaying our hot new posters, promoting the launching the new campaign website, and of course, distributing condoms to all the parade-goers.

No matter what your age or gender, we need you to march with us. We don't want a tiny contingent, we need a contingent that helps set a tone that safer-sex is a LGBT community standard. Monogamy, domestic partnership and marriage won't solve this problem because, they don't really work among a very large section of young men.

We'll also have vintage ACTUP banners and chants throughout for what promises to be a fierce and fun showing at pride. We hope to see you marching in the contingent!

My New York: Pride

Oh, I almost forgot! The Heritage of Pride march took place yesterday. Had an OK time. Cop above got stuck herding da' bears (to the right) and the pier kids (to the left). More photos here. Better photos from someone else here.

Latino LGBT Pride in NYC: 2004

Continuing our look at Latino LGBT organizing in New York through some of the photos I've taken through the years...

copyrighted photos - to post, please ask for permission: blabbeando@gmail.com

Above - Taking a stand outside the Bronx Courthouse, Sunday, March 14, 2004: When conservative Latino religious organizations throughout the northeast asked parishioners to show up in big numbers at a rally in support of President Bush's constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage, more than 5,000 people showed up. A few of us also showed up to counter their message and that of the homophobic State Senator (and Reverend) Ruben Diaz, Sr. Full story here.

Below - Heritage of Pride march, June 27, 2004: Venezuelan Gays United in full feather regalia perform before the judge's stand. I was a judge that year and I believe they were nominated for a couple of awards though I swear I tried to be as impartial as possible. They were pretty good though. Rumor says that this year they'll be back in feathers although the colors might change.

Days of mourning – Part 2: COLEGA and Eddie Garzon

1. Eddie Garzon and Marlene Forero, Undated photo, Flushing Meadows Park
2. Composite image of the COLEGA float designed by Eddie Garzon

Eddie Garzon had come to the Colombian Lesbian and Gay Association (COLEGA) in 1996 through Fernando G., another organization founder. Having first-knowledge of Eddie’s stage and costume design skills, Fernando had convinced Eddie to work with COLEGA in designing that year’s Queens and Manhattan Pride costumes. That first year, Eddie came at a late stage in the planning so we ended up doing something simple, with long Colombian flags floating in the wind and a bunch of huge helium filled balloons with the yellow, red and blue colors of the Colombian flag.

But for 1997, Fernando and others wanted something more grandiose so, as Fernando was prone to do, he exaggerated the number of volunteers and the fiscal support that COLEGA would be able to provide, invited Eddie once again - and then quickly disappeared when it came to crunch time. The result? A few volunteers spent almost five days and nights helping Eddie and some of his closest friends needle, cut, paste, twist and mold some body costumes shaped like coffee cups, a huge coffee pot, two big straw bags which looked like coffee sacs and, once those were over, paint, cut, saw and carry a horse-shaped wood figure which we then mounted on top of a jeep the night before the Heritage of Pride Parade. The theme? “100% Colombian coffee, 100% gay Colombian” – a play on gay and national pride.

On the day of the actual Heritage of Pride March, the huge coffee pot failed to vent white vapor from its spout as it was supposed to do, six of the twelve coffee cup costumes did not arrive on time (nor the dancers inside them), and it seemed as if the stress nearly drove everyone to leave the organization even as we were marching. Nevertheless, we all looked amazing and were featured in most of the nightly news that night. One of the most vivid memories that day was running up 5th Avenue from 32nd Street back to 56th Street with Eddie running at my side when we were told that the additional costumes had finally arrived, then taking a cab ride sans costumes when we realized that the dancers had left when they did not find the contingent.

With us in the cab, Marlene Forero, a single straight woman and mother, who had been with us every night as we put together the costumes and the float. Marlene had met Eddie at a performance of Estampas Negras (Black Pictures), a Colombian folk dance company in which Eddie also performed. Though not familiar with gays, Marlene struck the closest of friendships with Eddie almost immediately based - at first - on their common nostalgia for their country of origin but evolving to the point where Marlene would call Eddie when she was at the supermarket and ask him if he was missing anything in his kitchen. Eddie, who was incredibly charismatic and seemed to know just about everyone in Queens Latino gay circles, started presenting his friends to Marlene. Soon, Marlene’s home had become the place where all these beautiful boys would stop by for some Colombian food, no-nonsense advice from a woman who adored them and to dish (her friends, mostly a group of single and married Colombian middle-age women, chided her at first for hanging out with so many gays but then grew jealous of the fun Marlene was having going out with them to the bars and special events and ultimately started to join her on her 'gay expeditions.')

That was the last year that COLEGA would participate in the Heritage of Pride march and, though I saw Eddie a couple of times after that, by the time he was accosted, we had lost track of each other.

So, four years later, in light of the news reports, it made sense to reach out to Marlene, who was the first one at the hospital on the night of the attack. She quickly brought me up to date: Eddie was in a coma four days after the attack and his prognosis was uncertain, his parents were flying from Florida the next day and they wanted to have a prayer ceremony at the chapel inside Elmhurst Hospital for close friends and family. I told her I’d be there. By then, the police had put up some flyers alerting the community of the crime, asking for leads, the attack was being investigated as a ‘hate crime,’ and people in the bars were slowly finding out what had happened.

Previous post:

• Part 1: The Attack
  

Next posts:

• Part 3: So what is, exactly, is a 'hate crime'? (and a prayer)
• Part 4: Eddie Garzon passes on
• Part 5: The Vigil
• Part 6: A Newsday Editorial
• Part 7: A parade of angels
• Part 8: Epilogue
• Eddie Garzon: After five years, an arrest (June 29, 2006)