Steven Michael Mackin, remembered

My friend, Steven M. Mackin passed away from Ewing's Sarcoma three years ago to the day. He was always taking photos of himself and, in some ways, he fully knew that they might be for posterity. One of the last request he made of me was that, if he died, I would use his photos so that he would never be forgotten. He also left me this silent video as well as this not so silent one as well.

He had beaten cancer once before, but he was also the first to realize that it was back. He kept complaining of stomach pains and asking me if I thought the cancer was back. I had no idea but tried to assure him that it might be something else. Until the end, I think he held strong for the sake of his family and his friends. Even of he probably knew much more than we all did.

Unwavering in his advocacy for others trying to beat Ewing's Sarcoma, and unflinchingly honest with his own battles and fears, Steven left his thoughts and feelings posted publicly for everyone to see on his LiveJournal blog Things I've Found In My Butt (it's sooooo worth a read, starting from the first post). He ultimately lost his battle on October 28th of 2006.

Steven's blog was featured on an Associated Press article in March of 2007 ("Blogging at Life's End"), and he was also the inspiration for "Stomp Out Cancer".

In the meantime, I have tried to maintain contact with his mom, Sheila, and was so glad to see her name pop up on Facebook a few weeks ago! My thoughts and love go to her tonight. Through Steven, I also met the amazing Kawika (here and here), now a friend for life.

And, today, I am more than glad to write this post in Steven's memory. Nothing would be more appropriate, though, than to post this memorial video that was posted a few days after Steven died (below). I had nothing to do with it and was shocked to see my image pop up early in the video, but it remains the rawest and most amazing of the YouTube tribute videos dedicated to Steven available online. The music, courtesy of Alter Bridge, is just right and, in my mind, will forever be linked to Steven. We love you Seven! Rest in peace.

A Kawika moment, Pt. 2

Yes. Kawika has started blogging, which I absolutely love. Unexpectedly, though, he includes a post about his first New York visit experience. An excerpt:

As comfortable as I'd gotten being there, the moment I had my first glimpse of the view [at the top of the Rockefeller Center] I was immediately overwhelmed. All the feelings I experienced when I first arrived came rushing back to me and I couldn't help but feel like a little island boy in the middle of this huge city.

I stood there in awe, just taking in everything... enjoying the warmth of the sun and a slight cool breeze. I tried to explain to Andrés what I was feeling and got choked up mid-sentence as reality sunk in. I accomplished what was once just a big dream to a little island boy. I remember telling him that I wished my family could see what I was seeing and it took just about every ounce of my energy to choke back my tears.

OMG! I loved hosting Kawika and knew that visiting New York had been a special thingie for him but I was nevertheless moved by what he wrote. Above: El Kawika overlooking Central Park; Below: El Blabbeador, El Pointy Building, and El Kawika.

Previously:

• Having a Kawika moment in NY (Feb. 15, 2009)

Hawaii: Don't be gaycist!

You might have heard that the Hawaiian House of Representatives passed a same-sex civil unions bill a week ago today.

You might have heard, as well, that a certain Hawaiian guy recently visited the Big Apple.

Well, a post by Joe.My.God earlier this week on the Hawaiian bill certainly caught my eye. It said that an estimated two thousand Hawaiians, most wearing red shirts, descended upon the state capitol in an anti-gay rally to protest passage of the bill.

Joe later excerpted a blog post at Pam's House Blend by guest blogger Keori which described the scene as she made her way out of the capitol on Tuesday after witnessing the legislative debate on whether the bill would be sent out of committee for a Senate vote:

...[I] forget to take off my little green and gold "equality" sticker on the way out of the building, and be followed to the bus stop by a bunch of red shirts with signs. Three 6'5", 200 pound Islander guys with signs saying "Gay marriage is wrong" and "John 3:16" followed the lone little white girl with her laptop case across the street, yelling at me, "Repent!", calling me a bitch and a whore, telling me, "You just need a real man to fuck you straight." Nothing I haven't heard before.

Then one of them said, "We know who you are now, and what you drive. We saw you last Thursday. You better watch yourself, fucking haole bitch." Not one of the 20 people standing around the bus stop said anything to them. I got on the first bus that came along, got off three stops down the street, and caught my right bus a few minutes later. I rode home all alone, with my headphones on, praying no one bothered me. I don't want to ever hear another fake apology from these people saying that they don't actually hate queers, they're just "protecting traditional marriage". It's just the latest lie in their christian hate grab bag.

It certainly doesn't change her awful experience as she made out of the capitol building but guess who was infiltrating the red homophobic masses.

Why, it's recent Big Apple visitor Kawika! Who probably confused quite a few by holding his "Don't be Gaycist" sign. Love it!