Showing posts with label steven mackin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label steven mackin. Show all posts

Friday, October 28, 2011

An ode to Steven Mackin


It's been five years to the day since my friend Steven Mackin lost his battle with cancer. He would have been 32 yeas old this year.

Before he passed away, Steven asked me to write about him and post his photos on this blog so he would not be forgotten.   I am not prone to observe annual themes on this blog but I always make an exception for Steven on this day.

In Steven's name, I ask you to Stand Up To Cancer.  Better yet, if you have some time on your hands, please visit his hilarious, candid, sad, unpolitically correct and incredible LiveJournal blog "Things I've Found In My Butt".

Steven began writing as a way to document his struggle with cancer and, ultimately, he ended up leaving a testament of the amazing, funny and beautiful man he was while alive.

In 2007, the Associated Press featured his blog as an example of how people dealing with a terminal illness were using online diaries to leave a legacy behind ("Blogging at Life's End").

My heart goes to his mom Sheila tonight.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Steven Mackin, remembered


Four years ago today my friend Steven Mackin passed away from Erwing Sarcoma at the age of 27. He thought he had beat the rare form of cancer a few years earlier when he'd gone through surgery and chemotherapy but when it came back it was stronger than ever and took his life in a mere few months.

When the cancer first struck, Steven had been living in San Francisco and loving it.  The surgery left him with the need to use crutches in order to walk and forced him to relocate back to his hometown of Bardstown, Kentucky.

Although Steven just adored his mom Sheila and loved his family, it was hard for him to go back to live in Bardstown.  I remember the hours we spent chatting and talking about his desire to move on with life and move somewhere else: San Francisco, Miami, Las Vegas.  Somewhere where he could continue his life as a young gay man which was interrupted so suddenly by the cancer diagnosis in San Francisco.

Personally, I have never met anyone who took more pictures of himself.  Maybe it was a way for Steven to constantly remind himself he was a survivor.

He also loved this blog, at least in it's earlier form, and a couple of months before he knew the cancer was back we had a conversation in which he made me promise that if he passed away I would talk about him here, show people his pictures, make sure he wasn't forgotten.

So every year on this date, I write about Steven and share his life with the world - and share his pictures.

He was just an amazing, beautiful man and it's still tremendously sad he is no longer with us.

Steven also left behind an incredible testimony of his fight with cancer in the form of a LiveJournal which he very appropriately called "Things I've Found in My Butt".   It's an incredibly touching, irreverent, funny, maddening, sad and moving diary of his life in Bardstown.

In 2007, the Associated Press featured Steven's story based on the writings he left behind.

It's an amazing read if you have some time on your hands, and a living testament of the great Steven Mackin.

Oh, and, by the way, Steven Mackin IS prettier than you!

Previously:

    Wednesday, October 28, 2009

    Steven Michael Mackin, remembered



    My friend, Steven M. Mackin passed away from Ewing's Sarcoma three years ago to the day. He was always taking photos of himself and, in some ways, he fully knew that they might be for posterity. One of the last request he made of me was that, if he died, I would use his photos so that he would never be forgotten. He also left me this silent video as well as this not so silent one as well.

    He had beaten cancer once before, but he was also the first to realize that it was back. He kept complaining of stomach pains and asking me if I thought the cancer was back. I had no idea but tried to assure him that it might be something else. Until the end, I think he held strong for the sake of his family and his friends. Even of he probably knew much more than we all did.

    Unwavering in his advocacy for others trying to beat Ewing's Sarcoma, and unflinchingly honest with his own battles and fears, Steven left his thoughts and feelings posted publicly for everyone to see on his LiveJournal blog Things I've Found In My Butt (it's sooooo worth a read, starting from the first post). He ultimately lost his battle on October 28th of 2006.

    Steven's blog was featured on an Associated Press article in March of 2007 ("Blogging at Life's End"), and he was also the inspiration for "Stomp Out Cancer".

    In the meantime, I have tried to maintain contact with his mom, Sheila, and was so glad to see her name pop up on Facebook a few weeks ago! My thoughts and love go to her tonight. Through Steven, I also met the amazing Kawika (here and here), now a friend for life.

    And, today, I am more than glad to write this post in Steven's memory. Nothing would be more appropriate, though, than to post this memorial video that was posted a few days after Steven died (below). I had nothing to do with it and was shocked to see my image pop up early in the video, but it remains the rawest and most amazing of the YouTube tribute videos dedicated to Steven available online. The music, courtesy of Alter Bridge, is just right and, in my mind, will forever be linked to Steven. We love you Seven! Rest in peace.

    Sunday, February 15, 2009

    Having a Kawika moment in NYC

    I have been taking a breather from blogging as well as other endeavours this week for a very good reason. My Hawaiian friend Kawika is visiting New York City for the first time in his life and I promised I would be his guide to the city during his few days in the Big Apple.

    Of course, this has entailed lots of sight-seeing and lots of walking in what isn't necessarily the warmest of seasons. Good thing, then, that temperatures have stayed a dozen degrees above the freezing mark, for the most part, and that it has been so sunny (plus I've been successful dissuading Kawika from wearing shorts and sandals, which he swears are just right for this weather).

    First thing, as always, were the subway trains. They are not necessarily that clean but I was disappointed we didn't see any humongo-rats. Still, it was a far cry from being stabbed or mugged, which is what his friends warned might happen in the subways. Those were the old days! I said. New York City as shown in bad movies! I said.

    That's before some drunk guy on the 72nd Street subway platform threatened to punch Kawika in the face unless he called him his friend. Kawika, bless his heart, says that the experience made him feel as if he had a badge of honor when it came to braving the streets of New York.

    Having survived subway underworld, we emerged in the heart of Times Square. I didn't tell him where we were heading so watching Kawika's face light up a million watts' worth of emotion was priceless. Overwhelmed does not even come close to it. As a New Yorker you learn to take these things as granted. Watching the joy in Kawika's face made me realize I should appreciate living in this city a bit more.

    We then walked up Broadway and made it to Columbus Circle. We went into the mall at the Time-Warner building and I showed Kawika those ugly Botero copper-colored statues (including the one with the shiny golden penis - from people rubing it too much).

    We then went into Central Park where we got New York grub: A pair of big hot-dogs with the works. Amazingly, Kawika lived to tell about it... He also got to see Bethesda Fountain and the notorious Rambles. Yes, as cold as it was, there were still a few guys cruising others out there.

    We ended the day at the Gym bar with my boyfriend and some friends and ended up driving around Manhattan into Brooklyn to see the Manhattan skylight at night from across the river.

    Day two, we got started late. We made it to Ground Zero and Wall Street. Yup, that's the New York Stock Exchange building.

    We also made a second visit to Times Square at night. I was even overwhelmed by the amount of people around us.

    And then it was off to Christopher Street. The plan was to see as many bars as possible and things started well with a history trip to the Stonewall Inn and Julius' but Marie's Crisis had a long waiting line and Boots & Saddles was sorta empty. We eventually ended up at Ty's were I bumped into my friend Alex while Kawika was cruised a few times.

    Time went by really fast. We headed to the Dugout but it had closed for the night. A perfect time for oily pepperoni pizza. And then time to call it a night.

    Today brought us to the Staten Island ferry. The best value for your buck: You get a glorious view of lower Manhattan as well as the Statue of Liberty for free. Plus you get to get pooped on by seagulls! Priceless! I tried to beat the night-fall by heading up the west side Hudson River walkways but quickly gave up since the wind was picking up and it was getting seriously chilly.

    As we made it to the subways, Kawika noticed the gas tank above with its quaint New York-themed insignia. He asked me if I knew what the tanks were doing there. I had seen them before but told him I was just as stumped as he was. Then it was back to Queens for some Afghan food (yum yum)... and we are not even done yet.

    Fuck! I've loved having Kawika here. It's the first time we have actually met face to face but it feels as if we have known each other for years. After all, the reason we got to know each other was the loss of a common friend to cancer three years ago.

    That the life of Steven Mackin made it possible for us to be friends and meet in New York after all these years is just amazing. That Kawika and I will probably remain friends for the rest of our lives is even greater (more photos here).

    Tuesday, October 28, 2008

    Steven Mackin, Kevin Broderick, Ewing's Sarcoma

    Meet cuties Kevin Broderick and Andrea St. John (right). They got married in May after two years of courtship.

    Andrea says "I think it took a little while for him to build up the courage to ask me to do something alone. We had a lot of seventh-grade-style dates" (cuteness rules!).

    That according to a profile (and interview) posted at National Public Radio a few days back ("A Love That Defied a Cancer Diagnosis").

    A week after the wedding, Kevin passed away at the age of 36. You see, when they met, Kevin was in recovery from a 2004 bout with a rare cancer called Ewing's sarcoma, which usually afflicts people during their younger years.

    He thought he had defeated it but, unfortunately, a doctor's visit revealed that the cancer was back in a big way.

    "There's a spot in my thigh, and my ribs, and in my pelvis," Kevin disclosed to Andrea, "The scans lit up like a Christmas tree."

    When I read about Kevin and Andrea my thoughts, of course, turned to my friend Steven Mackin who also faced Ewing's Sarcoma and fought it back until it came back a couple of years later and took his life.

    As a matter of fact today, October 28th, marks the two-year anniversary since his passing. And yet his spirit is still vibrant and present in so many ways.

    Just this weekend I was writing about Roisin Murphy's first ever full-fledged concert in New York City as a solo artist as part of the CMJ music festival.

    Well, David Banner also performed as part of the festival which brought up memories of Steven's thoughts about Banner's song "Play":

    It sounds like it would be a really pretty song. I mean, David Banner totally sounds like the name of a wholesome pop star from the UK. I was sooooo wrong. He's a rapper!!!! And this rapper or whatever is a pretty dirty mofo. The lyrics to 'Play' are off the hook...
    OMG! I miss Steven's humor.

    And then there's the fact that he used to be a high school band team geek which accounts for his love of film scores including the theme to "Field of Dreams." I still have the mp3 file which Steven sent me long before he found out that the cancer was back and, from time to time - when I am listening to I-Tunes in shuffle mode - it will start playing unexpectedly and all sorts of emotions fill me up. Mostly gladness that Steven is still in my thoughts.

    From time to time I remain in touch with his mother and Steven's friendship has also led to other friendships as well (including Kawika).

    But the fact still remains that he is gone and I truly miss him.

    If you haven't read about Steven in my past blog posts, please head over to his Live Journal blog "Things I've Found in My Butt." It is worth a read from start to finish. If you take the time, you will appreciate why so many people loved him.

    You might also want to visit www.stompoutcancer.com while you are at it. Music producer Jake Wheat set up a site to raise funding for the research and treatment of Ewing's Sarcoma in the name of Steven and has put together a couple of indie music compilations which he sells to raise funds for related charities.

    I'll leave you with this video which was put together a few days after Steven died. I don't know who put it together but for some reason an image I sent to Steven when he was in the hospital and expecting to get better opens up the series of shots. In some ways I find the video perfect and the song has come to represent his spirit so well. Rest in peace, Kevin & Steven and others who have succumbed to Ewing's Sarcoma.


    Previously:
    Related:

    Friday, June 06, 2008

    Stomp Out Cancer seeking indie bands for 2nd compilation


    I got a message from Jake Wheat earlier today. Jake wanted to let blog readers know that he is seeking submissions for the 2nd Stomp Out Cancer indie music compilation to be released on October 28th, 2008 under the theme of "Hope." All proceeds will go to Erwing's Sarcoma research.

    The 1st Stomp Out Cancer compilation was an effort to honor the life of 27 year-old Steven Mackin, a friend who died from the disease on October 16, 2006.

    This year in tribute of Ben Lanman, a nine year-old boy who developed Ewing's at 8 years of age and has since recovered, and the hope that one day there will be a cure (this type of cancer mostly afflicts younger people).

    For more information on how to submit songs or how to donate / buy the compilations please visit the project's site at: StompOutCancer.com.

    Thursday, January 03, 2008

    Bilerico love and some thanks to start the year

    A couple of weeks ago Bil Browning over at The Bilerico Project reached out and asked me to submit what I considered to be the best blog post on Blabbeando from 2007. This as an effort to promote blogs that people might not have read before (how nice!).

    It might not be the best post of the year, but if you want to know which post I chose, just head over here and read on.

    It's as good an opportunity as well to thank, for my first post of 2008, some of the larger blogs and news aggregator websites that have supported Blabbeando by
    highlighting some of our posts or linking up to the blog.

    They include:
    Thanks guys!

    By the way, two of those, Gay News Watch and Page One Q, are mentioned in an interesting Press Pass Q article posted online today ("News compilation websites get the word out but kinks remain"). It's written by Michael K. Lavers better known as Boy in Bushwick on our blog roll.

    Bilerico also gets a nice write up in the Washington Blade this week ("Bilerico's 'underground flavor' draws gay fans").

    Sunday, October 28, 2007

    Pooh-ness in NY, Carebear-ness in Hawaii, Balloons over Kentucky, a music CD is launched

    UPDATE: Love in Bardstown, KY (thanks Jake):
    Pooh-ness in New York: Carebear-ness from Kawika in Hawaii: Reason? One year since this...

    Kawika also has this...


    From Steven Mackin's mom, Sheila, on Sunday's balloon memorial in Bardstown, Kentucky:
    "I thought of you when we released our balloons. About 50 or more people were there. Wouldn't Steven have loved being the center of attention once again."

    From StompOutCancer.com: After months of amazing work, also on Sunday, Jake A. Wheat announced the release of
    "Indie Music Unified presents Stomp Out Cancer, Vol. 1" - in Steven's honor. All proceeds will go towards efforts to fight Ewing's Sarcoma. You can listen to snippets and, if interested, purchase it here.

    Additional stuff:
    Related:
    • Steven Mackin's MySpace page here
    • Steven Mackin's LiveJournal page here
    Reminicences: Miss you boo!

    Thursday, October 11, 2007

    A year without Steven

    El Steven Mackin? Still close to our hearts. On October 16th, 2006, Steven was still sending me text message shout-outs from the University of Louisville cancer center in Kentucky to which I naturally replied "Love shout-outs from people I know with last name of Mackin!"

    This, a couple of days after I spent a full afternoon texting back and forth with the main man as he was being transported in an ambulance from the smaller Vanderbilt Medical Center in Nashville to a larger cancer center at Louisville University (the transfer decision came at the last minute and left him without anyone to accompany him during the ambulance ride - I was more than glad to be there for him).

    What can I say? I miss Steven. Lots. Today my I-Tunes player brought up the "Field of Dreams" theme song that Steven had sent me a while back when he wanted to share one of his favorite compositions (I mean, he was a college band dweeb and all). It really got me big time.

    Throughout the year I have been in touch with his mom, Sheila, and his sisters, Torey and Amy Jo. On Sunday, October 28th, the anniversary of Steven's death, they will gather together with other family members at the cemetery where Steven is buried and hold balloons with notes to Steven attached to them. They will release the balloons around 2pm, which is the estimated time at which Steven died a year ago on the 28th. I will probably do the same at Central Park here in New York.

    If you'd like to send greetings to the Mackin family I urge to write directly to Steven's mom at shebrady@hotmail.com (not sure she'll get back to you but I am certain she will appreciate your thoughts and greetings).

    In the meantime Jake Wheat at StreetBlast.com has put together a music CD in honor of Steven to raise awareness about Ewing's Sarcoma and how it afflicts younger people. I've already ordered my copy and you can order yours here (all proceeds go to Ewing's Sarcoma research).

    For more on Steven you can read his amazing LiveJournal entries ("Things I've Found in My Butt").

    There are also some image and video memorials here and here.

    Update: "One Bardstown family turns mourning into celebration" (News Blaze, Oct. 15, 2007)

    Previously on Blabbeando:

    Monday, July 09, 2007

    Indie Musicians Fight Ewing's Sarcoma: A Steven Mackin Tribute

    The official site will be fully functional on July 11th but Blabbeando has been given a sneak-preview at an online project by The Indie Music Resource Group to raise funds in the fight against Ewing's Sarcoma, a rare form of cancer that usually strikes children and young adults between the ages of 10 and 30.

    The project, which would compile the top 20 mixed-genre song submissions for a CD that will be released in October 28th of 2007, is the brain-child of
    Jake Wheat, Station Manager of Streetblast.com.

    The idea, Wheat says, came from his desire to say good-bye to
    Steven Mackin (pictured), who died of the illness on October 28th of 2006 - something he was not able to do while Steven was alive.
    Steven’s loss has saddened and angered me more than I can explain. Steven is owed a distinctive honor. Some good has to come from this sadness. This project is dedicated to Steven Michael Mackin, and this tribute to him will help find a cure, and to also support others cope with Ewing’s Sarcoma. We will stomp out Ewing’s, one way or another
    100% of the CD earnings will go towards efforts to find an Ewing's Sarcoma vaccine and improve early detection efforts. Bands are encouraged to submit contributions through the StompOutCancer website beginning July 11th.

    For additional information contact Jake Wheat at 502 489-1501 or e-mail at jake@stompoutcancer.com.

    Previously on Blabbeando:

    Friday, June 15, 2007

    Steven Mackin would have turned 28 today

    It's been a few months since Steven died. It hurts big time that he is gone. I often find myself observing something or watching a TV show that I know Steven would have just loved and find myself thinking that it's just impossible that he's not there to share trashy stuff with.

    Today he would have turned 28 and a few people have been leaving messages on his MySpace page. I am just glad that I got to know him and, as of late, that I have been able to communicate with his mom and sisters as well.

    A bud posted a YouTube video that speaks for all of us (see below). I still cry every time I see it. I am honored that it begins with the image above, which I sent to Steven a few days before he passed away. He just loved it big time.

    From his LiveJournal on his birthday last year, before he knew the cancer was back, "My Life in pictures."

    I miss you so bub.

    Wednesday, March 07, 2007

    The Associated Press profiles Steven Mackin

    An AP article by reporter Laurel Fantauzzo on people who have blogged about their struggle with potentially terminal illnesses has just been posted online (click on "Blogging at Life's End").

    It has a brief profile of Steven Mackin, about whom we have written in the past, who died on October 28th of last year after battling a rare type of cancer called Ewing Sarcoma.


    Of his LiveJournal, his sister Shannon says "It was one of the most precious gifts that we ever had... We know what he was thinking."

    Many would also say that it helps us never to forget such an amazing guy. Thanks Laurel for thinking about Steven when you wrote the article.

    Monday, February 19, 2007

    Steven lives on!

    An Associated Press reporter recently left a message on Steven Mackin's LiveJournal asking his family for permission to mention how he had used his online diary to address his struggle with cancer.

    The family has said "yes" and the article will appear in the next couple of weeks on an AP ASAP, a webpage aimed at teens, which will take a look at how young people have used their online diaries to deal openly with their life-threatening illnesses.

    Steven, about whom we have written in the past, would not have wanted it any other way. He always told me that the number one reason why he wrote about his struggles with cancer was to help other young people with the disease (inspired as he always was by Pedro Zamora in MTV's "The Real World" a decade ago, who was not only open about his HIV status but also his sexual orientation).

    You can always look at our fotki and youtube memorials.

    Hawaii's Wika Boy certainly knows how it feels not having Steven around. So do I. Long live Steven Mackin.

    Monday, October 30, 2006

    Good bye, my friend



    So, on Saturday, when I wrote about the passing of my good friend, Steven Mackin, I said that there was a last promise to keep.

    This actually came up in a conversation we had this summer, long before Steven had begun to experience any stomach discomfort or that any of us knew that his cancer would come back. He made me promise that - if and when he died - I would post my favorite of his photos on this blog because he wanted people to know who he was and feared being forgotten (Forgotten? As if! You should the tremendous outpour of emotions expressed by the many who Steven touched while alive! - read replies here, here, and here).

    Of course then, I simply poo-poo'ed the idea and dismissed his mention of the 'd' word. Little did we all know.

    Aside from some of Steven's photos that I have used in the past, the above three are absolutely my favorites. His friends, his family and even Steven himself might have chosen other photos but I think the above three speak to who he was without the need for words.

    Over at this place, I've set up a memorial album with additional photos, some supplied by close friends as well. There is almost no rhyme and reason to the album and the images are cetrainly not in chronological order but I hope that it conveys some of what we feel towards Steven. Finally, there is also a couple of short videos here.

    I may not have been able to attend today's memorial and tomorrow's funeral. But I hope that, in this small way, I can honor the life of such a wonderful person.

    Much love to his family and Santino. As for Steven Michael Mackin, I love you and stuff.

    Update:
    Previously:

    Saturday, October 28, 2006

    Word is out so...

    Earlier this afternoon my cell phone rang and flashed Steven's name. Even before I answered, I pretty much knew that it would be Santino's voice on the other end and the reason he was calling.

    Steven had just died at home in Kentucky and Santino wanted to let me know that his family was all gathered around him and that he had died peacefully.

    Considering my conversation with Santino last night, I can't say that it was a surprise but it still does not fail to shock me and, on some level, seem too cruel to be true. I mean, I was busting Steven's chops just a couple of weeks back and still hearing him giggle that amazing laugh of his.

    Word is out. Someone just posted a reply in his coolukman LiveJournal page with the news. As I've been writing about it for a while now, I thought I'd let readers know as well.

    There is just one more promise to keep. One that Steven asked me to do if and when he died. It involves this blog so I will get to it sometime early this week.

    Our thoughts are with the Mackin family and with Santino. Santino has been the rock and we send him much love as well. As Steven would say - Good stuff!

    Steven M. Mackin. You, my friend, will be so incredibly missed. The few times I wrote about you on this page doesn't even start to approach everything else that we were able to share for a year and a half. You have touched me deeply and will forever continue to be a huge part of my life.

    UPDATES:
    Friends in San Francisco will be hosting an informal memorial
    for Steven at the Lonestar Saloon tomorrow Sunday, October 29 at 4PM. For more information go here.

    Also, Steven's sisters Amy Joe and Tory have posted the following message on Steven's LiveJournal:

    It has been a wild ride! Steven lost his battle with Ewing Sarcoma today at 2:20 pm. He went in the most peaceful way. He went to sleep with a smile on his face. To all of those who love him, we want to share our grief with you. [ALERT: DATES HAVE CHANGED!! I'VE EDITED THE UPDATED INFO AS FOLLOWS] He will be open for visitation on Monday, October 30th in Springfield, Kentucky. His burial will be on Tuesday, October 31st in Bardstown, Kentucky. Prayer service is at 7:00 on Monday night but he will be open for visitation at 10 am. His funeral mass is on Tuesday at 11:00 am. Sorry for the sudden change but we just met with the funeral director. Please call or text all that you know are planning on attending.

    My little sister and I were actually reading his Live Journal and laughing when they came to get us for his last moments. We were reading the Christmas 2005 entry...and laughing our asses off.

    We have been comforted in these last few days reading your messages to him and the memories you shared. He was well loved. He was an extraordinary person and we were so lucky to walk this journey with him. If you would like to make a donation in his name, he was very interested in the AIDS cause in San Francisco as well as the American Cancer Society research into Ewing Sarcoma. We will personally be donating to Hospice of Nelson County. They made it possible for us to be with him at home for the last week. They made his passing peaceful and pain free..his only dying wish. Our thanks goes out to Lenny Mudd, his nurse. His compassion and outlook on death made Steven's passing a joyful event. His spirit lives on in all of us.

    We will keep his cell phone on for the next couple of days if you feel the need to talk about him or to share in our memories. Please continue to share your memories of him...he was mackin' until the day he died!

    Amy Jo and Tory

    Updates:
    Previously:

    Friday, October 27, 2006

    A few updates to recent posts

    Michael Sandy's death: On Wednesday, additional charges were brought against three young men arrested in connection with the death of Michael Sandy. Anthony Fortunato, 20, John Fox, 19, and Ilya Shurov, 20 now face manslaughter and assault charges with additional penalties should they also be found guilty of committing a hate crime.

    Gay City News reports that hate crime charges are usually brought up when a defendant acts out of prejudice at the moment they are committing an attack but, in this case, Brooklyn District Attorney Charles J. Hynes said he was applying a "little-used" section of New York's hate crimes law that would consider the fact that the men consciously sought out gay men as robbery targets as indication of a hate crime.

    Yesterday, the New York Times reported that a 16-year old had also been arraigned but has yet to be indicted.

    CONLAMIC watch: On Tuesday, we wrote about The Latino Coalition's endorsement of Hillary Clinton for New York State Senate noting that they had usually marched lock-step with the Bush agenda particularly on social issues such as the right of gay couples to marry. In the post we mentioned that the Coalition had worked with the conservative religious Latino organization CONLAMIC in the past in supporting some of the most draconian immigration legislation proposed under this administration, including a proposal to raise a wall between the United States and Mexico, a bill that President Bush signed yesterday. No surprise then that while it boggled our mind any Latino organization would support the bill, yesterday CONLAMIC joined The Latino Coalition in lauding the initiative. As you know, we've kept an eye on CONLAMIC ever since they organized a rally outside the Bronx Courthouse against the right of gay couples to marry.

    As for Hillary Clinton, after years of avoiding meeting with the major LGBT political clubs in the city, a meeting finally happened. Hm, I guess it's election season.

    Gray's Anatomy: Fluff stuff but there is an apology.

    Steven Mackin (coolukman on LJ): I just spoke to Steven's boyfriend and I have confirmed that Steven is back home in Kentucky surrounded by his family. Things have deteriorated progressively and quickly and the family is doing everything possible to make sure he is as comfortable as he can be. He is no longer checking his cell text or voice messages. Please pray for Steven to be at peace and surrounded by nothing but love. I tried to keep my promise. Farewell my sweet, sweet amazing friend.

    Thursday, October 26, 2006

    Damn, Steven

    ...we love you so damn much. Glad the S. man and your family are next to you.

    (for those of you who have been following my posts on Steven Mackin a/k/a coolukman, he's bid a farewell of sorts).

    Previously:

    Friday, October 13, 2006

    LJ Bears *heart* Steven Mackin

    The current issue of The Advocate (October 24, 2006 cover date) has an article ("Bears on Live Journal") as part of their "Best of the Web 2006" coverage.

    The article takes a look at the popular blog / diary site LiveJournal and the surprising way in which it has become a networking site for gay and bisexual bears (the article, confusingly, is not available online).


    I recently posted on the travails of my friend Steven Mackin (a/k/a coolukman on LiveJournal) and the recent news that a cancer he thought he had beaten three years ago seemed to be back with a vengeance.

    Last week and this week have proved tough ones for Steven beginning with a sudden change in hospitals a week ago Wednesday. This was followed by some disheartening news on which Steven ruminated earlier today followed by slightly more promising news this afternoon. We've kept in touch almost every day (the man can text message like no one else I know) and have spoken to him a few times this week being mindful of his hospital stay and of the time he's been spending with his family.

    In a conversation we had a while back before the cancer resurfaced, Steven told me that one of the big reasons he came out to his family was watching the amazing Pedro Zamora on the 3rd season of MTV's The Real World (to many, Zamora was the person who brought home the impact of HIV/AIDS as well as the courage of being an out gay man on national television; personally, he certainly was a huge reason why I began to volunteer at HIV/AIDS service organizations). Steven also mentioned that Zamora was one of the reasons why he began to write about his experiences with cancer on his LiveJournal blog and continues to do so, unflinchingly, to this date.

    As for The Advocate article on LiveJournal, Steven's posts show just how the site is much more than a networking site for bearish gay and bisexual men. It seems as if every single bear on LiveJournal has left a greeting or two below Steven's posts which goes to show how it can also be a tremendous source of support and love when difficult things like these happen to someone.

    In any case, I tried to be on LiveJournal for a New York minute a few months back but it just wasn't for me. Maybe I wasn't bearish enough? In any case, I guess a Blogger can always join the LiveJournal choir:

    You rule, Mackin! Lotsa love from New York.

    Updates:
    Previous posts:

    Friday, September 29, 2006

    Update: I *heart* puppies

    An update of sorts:

    El Mackin boy a/k/a Steven Mackin (pictured right kissing puppies) escaped a potentially devastating cancer surgery yesterday but still has some additional tests to go through as well as chemo-therapy sessions, which he has already endured in the past and is definitely NOT looking forward to.

    Steven is posing with puppies because he can (and because it makes him look cute even if the pups are not his).

    Steven is grateful for all the well-wishes he has gotten since we wrote about his predicament over the weekend.

    We have spoken to Steven and realized that even if there's a long road ahead, it's a blessing that he didn't have to have major surgery yesterday.

    Please keep hoping for the best in Steven's recuperation.

    Updates:
    Previously:

    Tuesday, September 26, 2006

    We love Steven Mackin

    So if you've visited Blabbeando over the past week, you might have noticed the "Photo of the Moment" has featured a hottie with the caption "Mackin on my mind."

    If you have been a loyal Blabbeando reader you might also know that we have previously featured Steven Mackin (above) in the past when he daringly questioned P. Diddy's credentials last year and then again this year when he expressed his embarrassment when his mom told him that the sex scenes in "Brokeback Mountan" were kinda "hot."

    As some of my friends have commented, we rarely get personal in this blog but today we are making an exception. Turns out that on Saturday I got a call from Steven and I initially thought he was going to tell me about his escapades in Las Vegas, where he'd been spending a few days. So when he first said "It's back" I didn't fully capture what he was saying. "What?" I asked. "I'm in Nashville at the Hospital Center, it's back," he said.

    My stomach dropped. You see, back in 2003 Steven (a/k/a coolukman) was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor in tissues surrounding his lower spine for which he had to get surgery and chemo-therapy. Recent check-ups seemed to indicate that he had beaten it but, as of late, Steven had complained about stomach pains. Last week they got so bad upon his return to Kentucky that his family decided to take him to the doctor. The news was that the cancer was back and that he unfortunately had to have another operation as soon as possible.

    On Sunday, he told me he was blogging about it. "Are you crazy?!" I said, "You need some privacy! Not to have everyone calling you day or night to know what is going on!"

    So why are we writing about it today? Well, Steven reminded me that one of the reasons why he began to write on his LiveJournal blog was to share his experience dealing with cancer so that it might help others in a similar circumstance and that he was not about to back down. As a matter of fact, he made me promise that I would blog about him this week. Hence the "Photo of the Moment" - and this post.

    Today, Steven posted his thoughts on the latest developments on his LiveJournal and other friends are keeping up on the latest as well.

    Surgery is tentatively scheduled for tomorrow though it's a long-ass 8 to 12 hour stint which might be postponed a day or two. It's tough to provide support from afar but we've tried to make sure that Steven knows that we love him and that we hope for the best possible outcome tomorrow.

    Please join me in whishing the Mackin boy the best!

    Updates: